Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize