I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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