she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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