goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
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I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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