Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize