Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
