so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize