Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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