Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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