question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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