I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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