I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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