Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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