Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
