Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
why is half of my head shaved?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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