It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
