I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
