Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
