but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
