Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
