***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
