is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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