so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize