Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
