so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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