I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
