honey bunches of taint.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
