he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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