I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
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I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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