but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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