You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
