Already got asked if we're dating
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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