Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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