Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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