dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
