i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
