It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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