In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
