I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize