Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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