wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
