I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just pee around me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
