so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
