I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize