I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
