i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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