Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
