This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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