it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
