So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
