she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
