My vagina just recognized that song.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
