WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
