I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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