when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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