i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
