im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
