why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
