Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
