I bet he comes in French.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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