As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
