and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my being single is dangerous.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
