if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
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Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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